i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
