Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize