I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
