There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
