in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
