i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
