How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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