Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
