if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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