You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
