8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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