i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
