Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
