ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
