I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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