Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
