He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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