Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
