I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its liver damage thursday
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
