It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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