Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
