Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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