yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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