At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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