he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I will die if light touches me.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
