She announced her abortion via fbk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
