Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
