Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
