so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
