Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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