i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
