So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
