I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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