If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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