There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
