now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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