It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
