no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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