was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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