Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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