Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
