DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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