Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
