Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
