Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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