this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up under a house in Key West
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
