i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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