one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize