Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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