the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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