i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
