We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
