Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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